Desire and Repentance

I just had a quick thought about desire and repentance.

I believe that true repentance is a change in desire. And that desire makes a new man.

In Alma 36, Alma was racked with torment. And why? Because there was not a molecule in his whole body that felt comfortable in the presence of God. He wanted to cease to exist!

"...yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds." (VV. 14-15).

And then this...

"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there."

That is huge. Going from wanting to cease to exist from the presence of God to his soul LONGING to be there. That is a huge change. And it is a change in desire based off of who he had become. When his soul was racked with pains and desires to be OUT of God's presence, his desire wasn't right and he knew it when he felt close to God's presence. But after he had accepted and experienced the power of grace through the atonement, his soul was transformed to a different state. And he didn't only want to be there, his soul LONGED for it.

Repentance isn't just feeling pain for your sins and paying the price for cleanliness. It is changing our desires to be godly.

Not earning heaven by our suffering and sacrifice, but LEARNING heaven by our desire to become like God. Learning how to be heavenly so our souls also long to be with and like God.