The Kingdom of God Within Us

I just learned this principle that I think is more profound than I can even comprehend at this point. The principle is this: the kingdom of God is found inside of us, we just have to unlock it. Embedded within us is the knowledge of the ages. The mysteries of God come down from heaven, but rather than through a conduit that is opened from hundreds of miles above the earth's surface, it is rather, an unlocking of the truth that is within us already. The truth exists inside of us, we just have to unlock it. Like Plato proved when he showed his pupil that a boy who had never previously learned a certain subject had merely to recall the truth. Plato brought out the truth within the boy who never knew what he brought out in him (no one had taught him any of the things that the boy showed a knowledge of - it was merely unlocked). This principle holds true with us. We have the wonders of eternity within us. We just have to unlock them. There is more I would like to say and scriptures I would like to reference that support this, but it is a new lens through which I will see scriptures and other teachings differently now. I learned this with Stacie. She actually was the one who suggested it, and then the Spirit ratified it with a huge surge of pure intelligence flowing into both of us as we spoke. The Spirit was very strong. More later.

Desire and Repentance

I just had a quick thought about desire and repentance.

I believe that true repentance is a change in desire. And that desire makes a new man.

In Alma 36, Alma was racked with torment. And why? Because there was not a molecule in his whole body that felt comfortable in the presence of God. He wanted to cease to exist!

"...yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds." (VV. 14-15).

And then this...

"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there."

That is huge. Going from wanting to cease to exist from the presence of God to his soul LONGING to be there. That is a huge change. And it is a change in desire based off of who he had become. When his soul was racked with pains and desires to be OUT of God's presence, his desire wasn't right and he knew it when he felt close to God's presence. But after he had accepted and experienced the power of grace through the atonement, his soul was transformed to a different state. And he didn't only want to be there, his soul LONGED for it.

Repentance isn't just feeling pain for your sins and paying the price for cleanliness. It is changing our desires to be godly.

Not earning heaven by our suffering and sacrifice, but LEARNING heaven by our desire to become like God. Learning how to be heavenly so our souls also long to be with and like God.

Touch These Stones - Ether 3 - Deliberate Faith

Just a thought about the brother of Jared. Chapter 3 is great.

VV 4-5

And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness; and they shall shine forth unto us in the vessels which we have prepared, that we may have light while we shall cross the sea. Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this.

I like that the brother of Jared is so deliberate in his faith. He doesn't vacillate or hesitate, but he goes boldly to the throne of grace and doesn't even ask. He just states his level of faith and confidence in the Lord. To embellish a little on what he said adding my own personal expression to it, here is the gist of what he said to the Lord:

"I know You have all power" - "I know You can do anything and You are the most powerful being in the universe. You created the universe! You can do anything! You are God! And you just asked me, the tiny little brother of Jared, what I would have You do. So here is my answer: Touch these stones. Make them shine in darkness. You can do this. Do it."

I love this deliberate command. It isn't bossy or inappropriate. It is the response to a request from God. And his response is bold and full of confidence in the Lord's ability to do anything.

I want this same confident and deliberate faith. So I can come boldly to the throne of grace (like Paul teaches) and say to the Lord: "I know thou hast all power," followed by my deliberate response. We are all crossing a dark ocean and need to have light in our vessels.

Possible deliberate responses could include:

• Heal me
• Change my carnal nature to eternal nature
• Touch my heart
• Fill me with light
• Pour down pure intelligence upon me in revelations
• Endow me with further light and knowledge
• Fill me with Charity
• Make me holy

Don't get me wrong. He was humble. He asked for forgiveness for his possible ignorance. He repented before coming to the Lord. And he showed pre-prayer, faith-action (see verse 3): Behold these things which I have molten out of the rock. He went to all the trouble of mining and chipping and melting and molding - all with faith that this was his going to be his response. Then he showed deliberate faith. 

Touch these stones, and I know they will glow. 

And the Lord touched them. And the stones became lights.

This is the power of deliberate faith.

2 Nephi 2 - Lehi's Doctrinal Discourse to Jacob

This Chapter is probably one of the most jam-packed chapter in all of scripture. So full of doctrine that is mind-expanding and soul-saving. Many doctrines are difficult to explain when only using the Bible (like the fall and the atonement). This chapter is the perfect "rosetta stone" to understand these. It has other nuggets of truth as well. I won't cover everything now. But I want to dive into a few verses of doctrine.

V. 11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Holiness-----------------------Misery

Good-------------------------------Bad

Life------------------------------Death

Incorruption--------------Corruption

Happiness---------------------Misery

Sense---------------------Insensibility 

I only put these here because they are all placed as polar opposites to each other. It is especially interesting that Lehi places Holiness and Misery as opposites just as he places happiness and misery as opposites. 

Opposition is so important. Dr. Slife was one of my favorite professors in university. He spoke so much about the fact that we can't truly understand something until we have at least considered its opposite. This is very true. He would use the example of writing your own eulogy and considering your death. Considering the opposite to understand more deeply. I really like that. It seriously helps. It is a great teaching tool for almost anything. To understand its value, it really helps to make things make sense. Light and dark. Day and night. Anger and forgiveness. Confusion and Clarity. 

Verses to talk about later:

V. 21 The days of the children of men were prolonged according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh; wherefore, their state became a state of probation, and their time was lengthened... 

V. 25 

2 Nephi 9 - Chalk Full

I just want to comment on a few passages from this chapter that are a part of my love for the gospel and are fundamental to my understanding of it.

V. 16 - "They who are righteous shall be righteous 

still, and they who are filthy shall be filthy still..." 

This affects my theological thinking because our whole lives we are becoming something. We are going one way or another. We won't just be magically changed when we die. We will keep the same habits and moral struggles or moral strengths. It is like Mormon 9:14. We will continue in the path we have created for ourselves. This will not change by simply passing through the veil. 

V. 27 "Wo unto him that has the law given, yea, 

that has all the commandments of God, like unto 

us, and that transgresseth them, and that wasteth 

the days of his probation..."

I never want to be counted among this group. Sadly, I believe that I frame myself as one who has all the commandments and transgresses them. Not all of them, but I do not keep every commandment that I know is right. This is something that I believe I will work on my whole life. However, I don't think I am wasting the days of my probation. I believe that with my constant process of messing up and repenting, my character is being strengthened. And all the while my desire is to become like God - to become more holy. So even though I am messing up along the way, I am generally pointed in the right direction. And have constant course corrections, like Pres. Uchtdorf said. 

V. 28 - 29 "When they are learned they think they are wise, 

and they hearken not to the counsel of God, for they set it 

aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore their 

wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they

 shall perish. But to be learned is good if they hearken

 unto the counsels of God."

This is a great passage. My whole life, I want to become more and more learned. I will never stop learning and will never end my education. This is a life-long journey for me. I believe that there is a mix of reason and revelation that is the perfect formula for being endowed with knowledge that is lasting and truth everlasting. Without reason and the ways of learning acquired by the ways of man and the world's lens of education and seeking after truth, you cannot learn as deeply and profoundly. God will not be able to teach you in ways that you would have been able to learn otherwise. It is like the difference between the revelation that Henry Eyring (the world renowned scientist) and a seventh grader. The 7th grader can indeed receive revelation, but the amount of knowledge that Dr. Eyring has would allow for much deeper insights. It's like the classic essay by C.S. Lewis "The Weight of Glory." He describes this very well. On the other hand, those who seek intellectual and rational knowledge alone, cannot make the same discoveries, or find the same truths that those who are inspired and aided by the source of all truth - God. He can quicken any seeker of truth with His Spirit to learn 100 times faster and more than someone who has not allowed for divine aid. Joseph Smith said: "Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would learn more than you would by reading all that was ever written on the subject." (TPJS p. 324). There can be a perfect mix of reason and revelation to be endowed with a "perfect storm" of truth. 

Here are the others that I will have to talk about later, but that I will type in now:

V. 39 To be carnally minded is death and to be spiritually minded is life eternal.

V. 40 The words of truth are hard against all uncleanness; but the righteous fear them not, for they love the truth and are not shaken. 

V. 44 I stand with brightness before him.

V. 51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy...feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness. 

And My Soul Did Long To Be There - Alma 36

I love Alma's life-changing experience and everything around it. He was the vilest of sinners and was intersected by an angel who shook the earth. An angel whose voice shook the earth. This is amazing. And at the end of his encounter with this angel, he fell into a 3 day coma of sorts.

Later in life Alma recounts his journey though his heart and mind as he was in the coma. He was racked with torment because of his sins. I have definitely felt this way before. I am no perfect man and though I have often been an example for my family and friends of faithfulness, there is a dark side to my moon. I am not proud of that side, nor do I desire to make that side a part of me. But as a citizen of the second estate, I have been given a "natural man" or "carnal man" that comes out every once in a while. The key for me is to not let this carnal role become a part of who I allow myself to accept as my true identity. Yes, I (Andy Proctor) have done things and acted against what the highest in me would dictate. Deeds have been done, and acts acted. The confession of which do not make me feel comfortable with any holy person, let alone God.

On the other hand, I have been a witness to many sacred and holy things. I have walked on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, the streets of Jerusalem, the top of Mt. Sinai, the Palmyra grove where God the Father and Jesus the Son stood. I have prayed there. I have witnessed the birth of a baby, and the death of multiple people. I have given blessings with and received blessings from Especial and Special witnesses of Jesus Christ (seventies and apostles). I have witnessed the very powers of Satan stopped in their tracks as I gave a priesthood blessing in the name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the holy Melchizedek priesthood. The darkness dissipated and light immediately prevailed in these moments. I have received revelatory dreams of guidance and comfort, visions of warning and instruction, and voices that lift and strengthen. Even pure intelligence flowing unto me about a course of action in my life, or how to be a blessing in the lives of others. In all of these moments of enlightenment, I feel at home. I feel at peace. I feel more real than at any other moment. The bright side of the moon is the real me. In fact I would venture to say that the real me is not a moon at all, but a star. Not living on borrowed light like the moon.

I only say these things because I love Alma's expression as he contemplates his own experience gazing into heaven.

Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there.

 My soul longs to be there too. I think all of our souls long to be there. Our better selves long to be true to who we really are.

The other part about being there - heaven and not here - is that right now, I feel like it would be such a relief from all the things stressing me out in this life. Okay mostly right now it is politics, money, and social life with girls. But I guess all those things are things that God is complete in. Perhaps politics is a very mundane and mortal thing that will not exist in the next life, though leadership most definitely will exist. Money management and mastery is something that I think is eternal. It is not money that matters, but the principle of keeping a balanced budget, efficient use of assets, saving (having patience), investing (having patience), and stewardship and accountability over inheritance. And social life will definitely exist there, especially with one woman who I eventually marry and family that we create as well as the ones we come from. So I do long to be there partially because I am weary of the struggle in this life (mainly in the above mentioned areas) and partially because I can't wait to be outside of the grind of temptation and sin that is just rampant here. I just don't feel at home with it all. And I do feel at home with the heavenly experiences I have had. I believe that I think about heaven a lot. But probably still, not enough.

Either way, my soul longs to be there. 

Moroni 10

This chapter always reminds me of committing people to read and pray about the Book of Mormon. I loved that invitation. I love the Book of Mormon so much and this chapter reminds me of my love for it.

Verses 3 - 5 are paramount:

Behold I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will mainfest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

I wrote about this in my other Book of Mormon binder. There were many things it reminded me of. Praying after finishing the Book for the first time and receiving the voice that told me: "Andy, you already know." Then inviting so many on the mission and watching them receive their answer. Then praying to refresh my testimony and conviction. President Eyring said that the promise of the Holy Ghost doesn't just apply once and it doesn't just apply to the truth about the Book of Mormon, but that we should use it over and over to refresh our testimony about the Book of Mormon and about the truth of ALL things.

The next section is about the gifts of God. "For they are many" and they are given by the Spirit of God:

• To teach the word of wisdom
• To teach the word of knowledge by the same Spirit
• Exceedingly great faith
• Gifts of healing by the same Spirit
• To work mighty miracles 
• To prophesy concerning all things
• The beholding of angels and ministering spirits
• All kinds of tongues 
• The interpretation of languages and of divers kinds of tongues

All these gifts never will be done away as long as the world shall stand (19). The only way that they will be done away is if we don't believe. But if we believe, they will be possible. 

I love 27

And I exhort you to remember these things; for the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God; and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by this man, like as one crying from the dead, yea, even as one speaking out of the dust?

He lies not. And this will happen. Joseph Fielding Smith said: "No member of this Church can stand approved in the presence of God who does not seriously and carefully read the Book of Mormon." (CR, October 1961, p. 18). 

"Arise from the dust, O Jerusalem; yea, and put on thy beautiful garments..."

This is the point of the Book of Mormon. This is it's message if you understand the language. We are to arise from the evil things and put on the garments that cover us = take upon ourselves the covering and transformation of the atonement. The garment is a symbol of covering our nakedness. Our sins cause us to be naked in the presence of God, but when we use the atonement, we will put on the beautiful garment and we will be covered from our nakedness of sin and imperfection. 

And 32 is a great summary of the intent of this book and of the purpose of this life:

Yea, come unto Christ and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if you shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. 

There is so much in this verse. I will talk about what I have been studying lately in relation to what is taught here. There are five key teachings that I want to review.

Be perfected in Him

• This comes only with grace. See below. And it is part of eternal living. Denying ourselves of all ungodliness. Becoming eternal or complete. Most other references to perfection in the scriptures are actually translated as "complete."

Deny yourself of all ungodliness

• This goes along with the eternal living chapter that I have been thinking about. We are not here to earn heaven, but to learn heaven. If we really want eternal life, we need to become eternal...godlike. So we need to deny ourselves or get rid of all ungodliness. To do this, we have to become more and more like God and live more everyday in a way that God would live. This means learning how God is and constantly striving to become that. 

Love God with all your might, mind and strength

• I think might, mind and strength is an expression that is basically denoting that you are loving Him with everything. All of you is devoted to God. I believe this is what it is getting at. This goes back to becoming godlike. 

Then His grace is sufficient

• I think that this goes along with the denying ourselves of all ungodliness. Once we are in this pattern of godlike living or eternal living, we are together with Him and together with the Lord and we are endowed with the grace of Christ. Here is what I will say though. The grace of Christ is always sufficient. It has been, is and will always be. We don't have to be perfect to qualify for His grace. This verse lays out these principles in a certain order which I think we may need to look at. Grace is there the whole time and is the only way that any of the others are possible. We can't be perfected, OR love God with all of ourselves, or deny ourselves of ungodliness without His help and His help comes because of grace. So it could almost say: 

"Come unto Christ, through His grace. And through the grace of Christ be perfected in Him, and with the enabling power that comes with the endowment of grace, rid yourself of all desires for anything other than godliness. And through His grace, your nature can be changed so that you actually desire to love God with all your heart - and your might, mind and strength. Now do you see that it is by His grace that you are sufficient to do these things? And, if you accept His grace, and use it to the fullest all along the way, you can be perfect in Christ (through His grace). And if ye are perfected through His grace, you can in nowise deny the power of God (which I will now explain). 

 The Power of God

•  In John 1:9 it says "and to all those who believed in him, gave he power to become the sons of God" and in Moroni 7:48 it says "that ye may become the sons of God..." I believe that this is the same context. Ye can in nowise deny the power of God (to become His sons and daughters). Why? because when we have become the sons and daughters of God, we have done all of the above. We have denied ourselves of ungodliness, and become godly and eternal.