Charity Strife - "Is not puffed up"

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things hopeth all things endureth all things. 

"Is Not Puffed Up"

MTC Journal Entry:

Not caring what anyone but the Lord thinks - like it says in the missionary study gospel libro: "to become humble one must do what the Savior did in boldly denouncing evil, bravely advancing righteous work, courageously meeting every problem, becoming the master of himself and the situations about him and being near oblivious of personal credit. Humility is not pretentious, presumptuous or proud. Not weak, vacillating or servile." (Spencer W. Kimball). Near oblivious to personal credit is what I love about this. I often struggle with this. I (my natural man - or flesh) tells me that I need to get approval from others who are around me, and I do it in the wrong way...the only approval I need is from God (Helaman 5:8), and I can't do things for the wrong reason an still have charity. Maybe "not puffed up" is having the right motives and doing what the right motives tell me to do, no matter what I look like. Not puffed up - not speaking of achievements, but helping others with (the gifts you have been given). Not leading by saying, but leading by doing. Loving because you love, not because you want to be loved, and admired. Not speaking of past attributes you may have had and been good at, but seeking for the aid of the Lor in changing and finding more God-like attributes. Not speaking of your respected worldly achievements, and talents, but thanking the Lord for what He has given you and asking Him how He can use you with them to further His work. 

My thoughts now:

I believe that this part of charity takes a lot of love - for yourself, based on God's love for you. That might seem a bit backward, but if you don't love yourself you will constantly think "what do others think of me?" And you will probably do anything that will help you to feel accepted by others (including anything to puff yourself up in the eyes of those from whom you seek approval). I believe this is a HUGE driving force of society. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted and validated. And people will do almost anything to gain that acceptance and validation - UNLESS - they truly love themselves first.

One cannot truly have love for themselves unless they know that God loves them first. So it all starts with seeking God's love. He has said: "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." If we draw near unto God we will feel His love for us. And seeking His acceptance and love is the most important thing we can do. It is the most powerful force. If we truly know that God loves us, we will not need acceptance from any other person. We will still appreciate when others express love and support, but we will know who we are and we wont need to be fed by the validation of others.

Diagram from p. 192 of "The Broken Heart" by Bruce C. Hafen

This shows a diagram from Elder Hafen's book "The Broken Heart" all about the atonement applied to every day life. Amazing book. This shows his illustration that as soon as our relationship with God (vertical line) is strengthened and we feel His love and love Him, all other relationships will be optimized.

There is no reason we can't have the same certainty of God's love and acceptance that Joseph Smith had of his vision. He said:

I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God know it, and I could not deny it... 

I think that one of the most important things in life is to seek God's love for ourselves. This is not selfish. When we absolutely know of God's love for us personally and individually, we will never be puffed up. We won't need validation from anyone else - ever. We will know it just as Joseph knew that he had seen God in vision. And when we feel God's love for us, just like Lehi and Enos (after they felt God's love), we will only feel to share it with others and help and love others. Not just brag and puff ourselves up to get them to love us.

This is very related to another one I will talk about tomorrow: "seeketh not her own."