Charity Strife - "Seeketh Not her Own"

And charity suffereth long and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked. Thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Seeketh Not Her Own"

From the mission Journal:

Truly thinking of others before yourself. And not thinking of others' attributes that irritate you but thinking of what ways you can love others without looking, speaking or acting for your own benefit only. Truly putting God first, by putting others' good and happiness before yours. Here - (now in Chile) thinking about the people of Chile and how I am using my time to help them to feel loved by God, or am I thinking of myself and whether I feel good or not, and whether I got letters or had enough time to finish my personal things. Ot am I really working for the love of the people - because I have felt God's love for me and want them to also feel it and see miracles in their lives. Really, like the 3 soul-searching questions that Brother Allen asked at the fireside at the MTC. 1. If you could be any place in the world, right now, where would your heart want to be? 2. If you could do anything at all, right now, what would your heart want to do? 3. If you could be with any person in the world right now, who would your heart want to be with? The Lord just wants our hearts. And until the answers to those 3 questions are 1. Chile Santiago West, 2. Working, Loving, serving, teaching, WALKING and 3. With the people of Santiago and the Lord and your companion ---it will be harder to really have charity and be a truly successful missionary who is a representative of Jesus Christ. 

My current thoughts:

This one is an interesting one in this stage of life. During the mission you really could completely forget yourself and go to work. All you had to do was keep yourself alive and healthy and follow the rules and then the rest you could focus on helping and seeking not your own, but to serve everyone around you and live for others. This is a response I constantly receive from RMs about what is the hardest thing to adjust when getting home from the mission - that they actually have to think about themselves and their own life. It is true. I have thought about that a lot though. And I believe that even though you are focusing on your own grades, or your own job or career, these things all have end goals in mind. And at least for me, I am doing them so that I can serve others and eventually become a husband and father who can provide, preside and protect my family.

And in relationships, you have to seek not your own. I think that the closest I felt to any relationship where both sides were not seeking their own was McKell. She was seriously always thinking about the other. I know that it wasn't right with her, but she had that attribute cornered. And when relationships don't work. I think you really have to seek deep inside and think about the good of the other. Truly seek their happiness before yours. True love is deep and not just a crush. True love cares about the future and the long-term happiness of the other. And if that means not to be with you, then you rejoice in that even though it is painful. Because it just means that they will be happy, which if you love them, you desire.

I really like Helaman 8:5

And now my sons, behold I have somewhat more to desire of you, which desire is, that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven, yea, which is eternal, and which fadeth not away; yea, that ye may have that precious gift of eternal life, which we have reason to suppose hath been given to our fathers.

If we seek not our own, we do not lose anything in this life, but we lay up treasure in heaven. Which is eternal. Which does not fade away. Eternal life. Godlike life. We become more like God and more eternal when we seek not our own, but seek the highest good for others - motivated by the Love of God.