Desire and Repentance

I just had a quick thought about desire and repentance.

I believe that true repentance is a change in desire. And that desire makes a new man.

In Alma 36, Alma was racked with torment. And why? Because there was not a molecule in his whole body that felt comfortable in the presence of God. He wanted to cease to exist!

"...yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds." (VV. 14-15).

And then this...

"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there."

That is huge. Going from wanting to cease to exist from the presence of God to his soul LONGING to be there. That is a huge change. And it is a change in desire based off of who he had become. When his soul was racked with pains and desires to be OUT of God's presence, his desire wasn't right and he knew it when he felt close to God's presence. But after he had accepted and experienced the power of grace through the atonement, his soul was transformed to a different state. And he didn't only want to be there, his soul LONGED for it.

Repentance isn't just feeling pain for your sins and paying the price for cleanliness. It is changing our desires to be godly.

Not earning heaven by our suffering and sacrifice, but LEARNING heaven by our desire to become like God. Learning how to be heavenly so our souls also long to be with and like God.

Touch These Stones - Ether 3 - Deliberate Faith

Just a thought about the brother of Jared. Chapter 3 is great.

VV 4-5

And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness; and they shall shine forth unto us in the vessels which we have prepared, that we may have light while we shall cross the sea. Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this.

I like that the brother of Jared is so deliberate in his faith. He doesn't vacillate or hesitate, but he goes boldly to the throne of grace and doesn't even ask. He just states his level of faith and confidence in the Lord. To embellish a little on what he said adding my own personal expression to it, here is the gist of what he said to the Lord:

"I know You have all power" - "I know You can do anything and You are the most powerful being in the universe. You created the universe! You can do anything! You are God! And you just asked me, the tiny little brother of Jared, what I would have You do. So here is my answer: Touch these stones. Make them shine in darkness. You can do this. Do it."

I love this deliberate command. It isn't bossy or inappropriate. It is the response to a request from God. And his response is bold and full of confidence in the Lord's ability to do anything.

I want this same confident and deliberate faith. So I can come boldly to the throne of grace (like Paul teaches) and say to the Lord: "I know thou hast all power," followed by my deliberate response. We are all crossing a dark ocean and need to have light in our vessels.

Possible deliberate responses could include:

• Heal me
• Change my carnal nature to eternal nature
• Touch my heart
• Fill me with light
• Pour down pure intelligence upon me in revelations
• Endow me with further light and knowledge
• Fill me with Charity
• Make me holy

Don't get me wrong. He was humble. He asked for forgiveness for his possible ignorance. He repented before coming to the Lord. And he showed pre-prayer, faith-action (see verse 3): Behold these things which I have molten out of the rock. He went to all the trouble of mining and chipping and melting and molding - all with faith that this was his going to be his response. Then he showed deliberate faith. 

Touch these stones, and I know they will glow. 

And the Lord touched them. And the stones became lights.

This is the power of deliberate faith.

2 Nephi 2 - Lehi's Doctrinal Discourse to Jacob

This Chapter is probably one of the most jam-packed chapter in all of scripture. So full of doctrine that is mind-expanding and soul-saving. Many doctrines are difficult to explain when only using the Bible (like the fall and the atonement). This chapter is the perfect "rosetta stone" to understand these. It has other nuggets of truth as well. I won't cover everything now. But I want to dive into a few verses of doctrine.

V. 11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Holiness-----------------------Misery

Good-------------------------------Bad

Life------------------------------Death

Incorruption--------------Corruption

Happiness---------------------Misery

Sense---------------------Insensibility 

I only put these here because they are all placed as polar opposites to each other. It is especially interesting that Lehi places Holiness and Misery as opposites just as he places happiness and misery as opposites. 

Opposition is so important. Dr. Slife was one of my favorite professors in university. He spoke so much about the fact that we can't truly understand something until we have at least considered its opposite. This is very true. He would use the example of writing your own eulogy and considering your death. Considering the opposite to understand more deeply. I really like that. It seriously helps. It is a great teaching tool for almost anything. To understand its value, it really helps to make things make sense. Light and dark. Day and night. Anger and forgiveness. Confusion and Clarity. 

Verses to talk about later:

V. 21 The days of the children of men were prolonged according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh; wherefore, their state became a state of probation, and their time was lengthened... 

V. 25 

2 Nephi 9 - Chalk Full

I just want to comment on a few passages from this chapter that are a part of my love for the gospel and are fundamental to my understanding of it.

V. 16 - "They who are righteous shall be righteous 

still, and they who are filthy shall be filthy still..." 

This affects my theological thinking because our whole lives we are becoming something. We are going one way or another. We won't just be magically changed when we die. We will keep the same habits and moral struggles or moral strengths. It is like Mormon 9:14. We will continue in the path we have created for ourselves. This will not change by simply passing through the veil. 

V. 27 "Wo unto him that has the law given, yea, 

that has all the commandments of God, like unto 

us, and that transgresseth them, and that wasteth 

the days of his probation..."

I never want to be counted among this group. Sadly, I believe that I frame myself as one who has all the commandments and transgresses them. Not all of them, but I do not keep every commandment that I know is right. This is something that I believe I will work on my whole life. However, I don't think I am wasting the days of my probation. I believe that with my constant process of messing up and repenting, my character is being strengthened. And all the while my desire is to become like God - to become more holy. So even though I am messing up along the way, I am generally pointed in the right direction. And have constant course corrections, like Pres. Uchtdorf said. 

V. 28 - 29 "When they are learned they think they are wise, 

and they hearken not to the counsel of God, for they set it 

aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore their 

wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they

 shall perish. But to be learned is good if they hearken

 unto the counsels of God."

This is a great passage. My whole life, I want to become more and more learned. I will never stop learning and will never end my education. This is a life-long journey for me. I believe that there is a mix of reason and revelation that is the perfect formula for being endowed with knowledge that is lasting and truth everlasting. Without reason and the ways of learning acquired by the ways of man and the world's lens of education and seeking after truth, you cannot learn as deeply and profoundly. God will not be able to teach you in ways that you would have been able to learn otherwise. It is like the difference between the revelation that Henry Eyring (the world renowned scientist) and a seventh grader. The 7th grader can indeed receive revelation, but the amount of knowledge that Dr. Eyring has would allow for much deeper insights. It's like the classic essay by C.S. Lewis "The Weight of Glory." He describes this very well. On the other hand, those who seek intellectual and rational knowledge alone, cannot make the same discoveries, or find the same truths that those who are inspired and aided by the source of all truth - God. He can quicken any seeker of truth with His Spirit to learn 100 times faster and more than someone who has not allowed for divine aid. Joseph Smith said: "Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would learn more than you would by reading all that was ever written on the subject." (TPJS p. 324). There can be a perfect mix of reason and revelation to be endowed with a "perfect storm" of truth. 

Here are the others that I will have to talk about later, but that I will type in now:

V. 39 To be carnally minded is death and to be spiritually minded is life eternal.

V. 40 The words of truth are hard against all uncleanness; but the righteous fear them not, for they love the truth and are not shaken. 

V. 44 I stand with brightness before him.

V. 51 Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy...feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness. 

And My Soul Did Long To Be There - Alma 36

I love Alma's life-changing experience and everything around it. He was the vilest of sinners and was intersected by an angel who shook the earth. An angel whose voice shook the earth. This is amazing. And at the end of his encounter with this angel, he fell into a 3 day coma of sorts.

Later in life Alma recounts his journey though his heart and mind as he was in the coma. He was racked with torment because of his sins. I have definitely felt this way before. I am no perfect man and though I have often been an example for my family and friends of faithfulness, there is a dark side to my moon. I am not proud of that side, nor do I desire to make that side a part of me. But as a citizen of the second estate, I have been given a "natural man" or "carnal man" that comes out every once in a while. The key for me is to not let this carnal role become a part of who I allow myself to accept as my true identity. Yes, I (Andy Proctor) have done things and acted against what the highest in me would dictate. Deeds have been done, and acts acted. The confession of which do not make me feel comfortable with any holy person, let alone God.

On the other hand, I have been a witness to many sacred and holy things. I have walked on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, the streets of Jerusalem, the top of Mt. Sinai, the Palmyra grove where God the Father and Jesus the Son stood. I have prayed there. I have witnessed the birth of a baby, and the death of multiple people. I have given blessings with and received blessings from Especial and Special witnesses of Jesus Christ (seventies and apostles). I have witnessed the very powers of Satan stopped in their tracks as I gave a priesthood blessing in the name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the holy Melchizedek priesthood. The darkness dissipated and light immediately prevailed in these moments. I have received revelatory dreams of guidance and comfort, visions of warning and instruction, and voices that lift and strengthen. Even pure intelligence flowing unto me about a course of action in my life, or how to be a blessing in the lives of others. In all of these moments of enlightenment, I feel at home. I feel at peace. I feel more real than at any other moment. The bright side of the moon is the real me. In fact I would venture to say that the real me is not a moon at all, but a star. Not living on borrowed light like the moon.

I only say these things because I love Alma's expression as he contemplates his own experience gazing into heaven.

Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there.

 My soul longs to be there too. I think all of our souls long to be there. Our better selves long to be true to who we really are.

The other part about being there - heaven and not here - is that right now, I feel like it would be such a relief from all the things stressing me out in this life. Okay mostly right now it is politics, money, and social life with girls. But I guess all those things are things that God is complete in. Perhaps politics is a very mundane and mortal thing that will not exist in the next life, though leadership most definitely will exist. Money management and mastery is something that I think is eternal. It is not money that matters, but the principle of keeping a balanced budget, efficient use of assets, saving (having patience), investing (having patience), and stewardship and accountability over inheritance. And social life will definitely exist there, especially with one woman who I eventually marry and family that we create as well as the ones we come from. So I do long to be there partially because I am weary of the struggle in this life (mainly in the above mentioned areas) and partially because I can't wait to be outside of the grind of temptation and sin that is just rampant here. I just don't feel at home with it all. And I do feel at home with the heavenly experiences I have had. I believe that I think about heaven a lot. But probably still, not enough.

Either way, my soul longs to be there. 

Moroni 10

This chapter always reminds me of committing people to read and pray about the Book of Mormon. I loved that invitation. I love the Book of Mormon so much and this chapter reminds me of my love for it.

Verses 3 - 5 are paramount:

Behold I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will mainfest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. 

I wrote about this in my other Book of Mormon binder. There were many things it reminded me of. Praying after finishing the Book for the first time and receiving the voice that told me: "Andy, you already know." Then inviting so many on the mission and watching them receive their answer. Then praying to refresh my testimony and conviction. President Eyring said that the promise of the Holy Ghost doesn't just apply once and it doesn't just apply to the truth about the Book of Mormon, but that we should use it over and over to refresh our testimony about the Book of Mormon and about the truth of ALL things.

The next section is about the gifts of God. "For they are many" and they are given by the Spirit of God:

• To teach the word of wisdom
• To teach the word of knowledge by the same Spirit
• Exceedingly great faith
• Gifts of healing by the same Spirit
• To work mighty miracles 
• To prophesy concerning all things
• The beholding of angels and ministering spirits
• All kinds of tongues 
• The interpretation of languages and of divers kinds of tongues

All these gifts never will be done away as long as the world shall stand (19). The only way that they will be done away is if we don't believe. But if we believe, they will be possible. 

I love 27

And I exhort you to remember these things; for the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God; and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by this man, like as one crying from the dead, yea, even as one speaking out of the dust?

He lies not. And this will happen. Joseph Fielding Smith said: "No member of this Church can stand approved in the presence of God who does not seriously and carefully read the Book of Mormon." (CR, October 1961, p. 18). 

"Arise from the dust, O Jerusalem; yea, and put on thy beautiful garments..."

This is the point of the Book of Mormon. This is it's message if you understand the language. We are to arise from the evil things and put on the garments that cover us = take upon ourselves the covering and transformation of the atonement. The garment is a symbol of covering our nakedness. Our sins cause us to be naked in the presence of God, but when we use the atonement, we will put on the beautiful garment and we will be covered from our nakedness of sin and imperfection. 

And 32 is a great summary of the intent of this book and of the purpose of this life:

Yea, come unto Christ and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if you shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. 

There is so much in this verse. I will talk about what I have been studying lately in relation to what is taught here. There are five key teachings that I want to review.

Be perfected in Him

• This comes only with grace. See below. And it is part of eternal living. Denying ourselves of all ungodliness. Becoming eternal or complete. Most other references to perfection in the scriptures are actually translated as "complete."

Deny yourself of all ungodliness

• This goes along with the eternal living chapter that I have been thinking about. We are not here to earn heaven, but to learn heaven. If we really want eternal life, we need to become eternal...godlike. So we need to deny ourselves or get rid of all ungodliness. To do this, we have to become more and more like God and live more everyday in a way that God would live. This means learning how God is and constantly striving to become that. 

Love God with all your might, mind and strength

• I think might, mind and strength is an expression that is basically denoting that you are loving Him with everything. All of you is devoted to God. I believe this is what it is getting at. This goes back to becoming godlike. 

Then His grace is sufficient

• I think that this goes along with the denying ourselves of all ungodliness. Once we are in this pattern of godlike living or eternal living, we are together with Him and together with the Lord and we are endowed with the grace of Christ. Here is what I will say though. The grace of Christ is always sufficient. It has been, is and will always be. We don't have to be perfect to qualify for His grace. This verse lays out these principles in a certain order which I think we may need to look at. Grace is there the whole time and is the only way that any of the others are possible. We can't be perfected, OR love God with all of ourselves, or deny ourselves of ungodliness without His help and His help comes because of grace. So it could almost say: 

"Come unto Christ, through His grace. And through the grace of Christ be perfected in Him, and with the enabling power that comes with the endowment of grace, rid yourself of all desires for anything other than godliness. And through His grace, your nature can be changed so that you actually desire to love God with all your heart - and your might, mind and strength. Now do you see that it is by His grace that you are sufficient to do these things? And, if you accept His grace, and use it to the fullest all along the way, you can be perfect in Christ (through His grace). And if ye are perfected through His grace, you can in nowise deny the power of God (which I will now explain). 

 The Power of God

•  In John 1:9 it says "and to all those who believed in him, gave he power to become the sons of God" and in Moroni 7:48 it says "that ye may become the sons of God..." I believe that this is the same context. Ye can in nowise deny the power of God (to become His sons and daughters). Why? because when we have become the sons and daughters of God, we have done all of the above. We have denied ourselves of ungodliness, and become godly and eternal. 

The Greatest of All the Gifts of God (in this life)

Any time I need to regain my spiritual footing, the most sure-fire way for me is to study the Holy Ghost. I've had a couple of rough weeks and instead of getting closer to God, I have somehow stepped further away.  So I studied the Spirit.

Robert Millet said that eternal life is the greatest of all the gifts of God, but that it will only be bestowed after this life ends. So what is the greatest gift of all the gifts of God in this life?

The Gift of the Holy Ghost.

Here is why I think the Spirit is so important for me:

• It grounds me. It always brings me back to my Spiritual safe-haven. How?
• It reminds me of the truth. Most times when I am off, it is because I allow myself to believe something that is not true. So it helps me to remember important truths that are fundamental to my daily progress and daily motivation. For example, Satan tries to get me to believe that I failed in accomplishing the thing that was most important in life (marriage). But when I feel the Spirit, I remember the truth. I remember the power of the atonement, and of forgiveness and that God understands much more than I do and has a plan that is all-encompassing. And that I have all the potential (and more) that I ever had. 
• It brings perspective. It's like the talk by Neal A. Maxwell: Grounded, Rooted, Established and Settled. The Spirit helps me to look at the bigger picture. It enlarges my memory backwards to the times that I was my highest self, and it stretches my vision forward to my potential as a higher self. It reminds me of the fact that the purpose of this life is becoming. Becoming more like a being who would be comfortable in the presence of godlike characters - and even in the presence of God Himself. 
• As a part of the above, it reminds me of who I really am. The scripture I just memorized says that the "Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not" and "it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be..." and I would add to that, that the Spirit also speaketh of things as they always have been. 
• It purifies me
• While I feel or receive the Spirit, it acts as a purification process. It purifies. Anytime you feel the presence of the Holy Ghost, it lifts your soul to a higher level. You are cleaner inside than you were before. It's like walking through a filter that purges you of your carnal desires. I literally feel lighter. Last week I ran a trail race in Southern Utah and it rained the whole time - this made it into a mud run. Every stride resulted in more mud getting caked to my shoes. And my shoes just kept getting heavier and heavier until I would just stop and kick the mud off or scrape it off with a rock or a stick. And at the very end of the race, I just took my shoes to the shower and totally purged them of the mud and clay. I thought that was a perfect visual because this life is like that. We are running a mud-race and our shoes get heavier with every step through this mortal life. If I stop and get the mud off with the Spirit, I can run faster and overtime, probably do better personally than if I ran with heavy feet. The Spirit makes me lighter and cleaner. I just feel cleaner and lighter with the Spirit. 
• It sanctifies me
• When I truly receive the Holy Ghost and partake of the Spirit, I am given a new me. I am born anew. I am lifted to a higher level. It takes me from being the every-day Andy who is just an internet nerd that is trying to earn enough money and pay the bills, to a holier Andrew Scot Proctor that is the one who was valiant from before the foundation of the world, who fought for truth and agency with the mighty angels in the war that began in heaven. 
• It teaches and confirms the truth
• Anytime I am reading or learning in any way, the Spirit helps me to know when something is a true principle. I feel it and I am quickened. 
• It increases my confidence
• There is an absolute difference between the confidence that I have after I have been Spiritually recharged and when I am not. It is tangible. It is stark. It's the difference between being naked in a public place and being clothed. I am backed and I am freed to become my highest self. Like D&C 121:45-46 says: "...then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God...The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion..."
• It gives me a new vision
• Elder Maxwell said it best:
• "With the Holy Spirit as our guide, our conscience stays vibrant and alive. Things which we had never supposed come into view. Seeming routine turns out to be resplendent. Ordinary people seem quite the opposite. What we once thought to be the mere humdrum of life gives way to symphonic strains. Circumstances or a mere conversation which look quite pedestrian nevertheless cause a quiet moment of personal resolve, and a decision affecting all eternity is made. Sometimes you and I even sense it as it happens, but there are no bands playing, and there are no headlines. What seems commonplace seldom is..."
• It reveals
• I have dreamed vivid dreams that I know were messages from heaven. I have seen things that God wanted me to do, and done them. I have had strong impressions from above. I have heard voices of encouragement and warning. I have had scriptures opened up to me and my mind's eye was opened to an expanded view. 
• D&C 42:61
• If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things--that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal. 
• "There is no limit to the revelations [we] may receive" - Bruce R. McConkie
• It fills me with light
• I just feel brighter. People have even told me this. Those who have and feel the Spirit are lighter and brighter. They have a heavenly resonance that you don't experience otherwise. You can literally feel their warmth. I think of Gloria Carvajal, Daniel Summerhays, Anna Hargadon, Dena Smith, and so many others who in certain instances have just shown with light because of the Spirit that they possess. 

Parley P. Pratt summarized all these and more in one of my favorite quotes:

"The gift of the Holy Ghost adapts itself to all...organs and attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, expands and purifies all the passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness, and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. It tends to health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens, and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears and life to the whole being. In the presence of such persons, one feels to enjoy the light of their countenances as the genial rays of a sunbeam. Their very atmosphere diffuses a thrill, a warm glow of pure gladness and sympathy to the heart and nerves of others who have kindred feelings, or sympathy of spirit." (from The Key to the Science of Theology, p. 101). 

This is what I want more than any other thing. 3 Nephi 19:9 makes much more sense now:

And they did pray for that which the most desired; and they desired that the Holy Ghost should be given unto them.  

Charity Strife - "Thinketh No Evil"

And charity suffereth long and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked. Thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Thinketh No Evil"

Mission Journal:

I love this one because it involves the deepest root of an action. Any action begins with a thought. No one will do something that he or she has not thought about. We have the ability to think so that we can (mentally) choose and then act on our thought-up choice. If this was not so agency would be nothing and we would all be, as Satan's plan wanted, robots, just actors - ALL ACT and not thought. Just pure act, and no ability to choose, learn of make mistakes so that we may know pain and loss - then joy and love. But this is not God's way, as it says in Moroni 7:15-16 "it is given unto you to judge; that ye may know good from evil, and the way to judge is plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge as the day light is from the dark night. For behold the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil." So if every man is given to know with a perfect knowledge (as day from night) what is good from evil, then also we are free to ACT for ourselves as it says in 2 Nephi 10:23, then we combine these principles and we are free to think evil or to think good - and likewise free to ACT according to those thoughts. We also know what is good and what is evil, so if we know what is good and what is evil, and we are free to choose either one - AND we choose to think no evil and in turn DO no evil...then we are automatically thinking and acting and doing good, and no evil. This shows that we love God because Moroni 7:17,22, and Alma 41:5. If a man desireth evil all the day long (thinketh evil) he shall have reward of evil. Like "as a man thinketh, so is he." So in thinking no evil, we indirectly do good, and therefore are following the ways of Christ. And most especially thinking no evil of others and of anything they do. For once again - they are free to act for themselves and as it says in Alma 30:7 - "for there was no law against a man's beilef; for it was strictly contrary to the commands of God..."

My thoughts now:

Thinking no evil. Evil is an interesting thing. I like what I said above and it is interesting in the context of agency, but incomplete (I am okay with that because 8 years have passed). From a worldly standpoint, evil is often seen as relative. The reason is because what some cultures and societies view as evil, others may not. And this is where I will say what I believe is the way that I see evil in my perception. Evil is the opposite of good. So dualistically evil is on the opposite side of good in a line:

This is probably the easiest way to grasp and define what evil is. Otherwise there are all kinds of dangling factors that would have to be defined. For example, Christ is usually the embodiment or personification of GOOD and Satan is the embodiment or personification of EVIL. But did good exist before Christ and did evil exist before Satan? Most definitely. What is the fundamental root source of good and the fundamental root source of evil? Satan was not always Satan - Lucifer was once fundamentally good before becoming Satan. So what was the evil force that crept into his heart and allowed him to think, and then become the personification of evil - or the antithesis of good. Likewise on the other end (the source of good that Jehovah partook of and consistently chose - to become finally "more intelligent than they all." (Abr 3:19)? For now I just want to talk about evil and good as opposites and not as a universal force (which I believe they are, but will not discuss now). 

We are commanded to become like God. And God is the epitome of good, the highest good and the ultimate personification of good. So we are to change our natures in such a way that we are the opposite of evil. Maybe we could include in this "thinketh no evil" segment that we are to "always think good." Because if we think evil we become evil, and likewise thinking good continually, we become good. 

Thinking of evil as a dualistic concept can be good though. I believe in order for us to understand the good, we also must have a concept of evil. So I think that if we think evil for the purpose of becoming evil or the conception of evil deeds, that is different than understanding evil for the purpose of knowing its opposite. For example, one of the best ways to appreciate life is to consider your death. Considering the dualistic opposite really helps to see the good from a different (and usually stronger perspective).

Here is the key: don't become evil. I know that sounds pretty elementary, but hear me out. We are here on earth to become something. Before we came to this earth, we already became what we are now, before we were born. I believe that even if evil thoughts lead to evil acts, we can still eventually become fundamentally good. Not if we consistently do evil acts and have evil thoughts, because then we will become evil - fundamentally. Elder Hafen said that a person whose character is essentially good won't be condemned for a life filled with sinful acts - if in the end they have become good through the atonement. And an person whose character is essentially evil cannot be saved, by their life filled with good acts - if in the end they desire evil and are essentially more evil then good.

So if you think evil to the point of actually carrying out an evil act (or many), all hope is not lost. We can still become good, even if we have done evil acts in the past. As long as our fundamental desire is good.

I refer to this quote all the time, but here it is again:

"We can have eternal life if we really want it. But only if there is nothing else we want more." (Bruce Hafen).

Evil character VS acts

Charity Strife - "Is Not Easily Provoked"

And charity suffereth long and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked. Thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Is Not Easily Provoked"

From my Mission journal:

This man knows with all his heart that he is free to choose - he is aware of his wonderful gift from God - the gift of agency. He knows that anyone can do anything and he will never be offended by what another says or does, but will choose joy and happiness instead of being offended at a gift of God to another (because their agency allows them to do and say as the please). As before he will "suffer it" no matter what happens to him in his sphere of existence. He also knows that the Father's will and knowledge is greater than his and that, as it says in Words of Mormon 1:7 "I do not know all things, but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore he worketh in me to do according to his will." So even if something doesn't make sense, even if it is very hard and constantly frustrating, and it is for the Lord - he will continue to press forward with a steadfastness in Christ and remember to cheer up his heart and remember that he is free to act for himself...to choose the way of everlasting death of the way of eternal life." He speaks no words of guile because he knows the Lord and angels are always watching. He loves his neighbor and serves him. In doing so loves his God and doesn't allow the urgings of the flesh or the natural man to come out in provocation toward others in words, acts or even thoughts. He loves them all. Because he knows the love the Lord has for him and he knows that "freely ye have been given, freely ye must give."

My thoughts now:

Allowing yourself to be provoked is a choice. Like I said above, I know that I have agency and I can choose how I react to everything. No matter what someone says to me, I can choose to love them. I remember for a while it was really hard for me when people would say something totally insensitive to my situation with Chantel. I was very blessed to read a story from Les Miserables about the Bishop Beauvian from the first part of the book. I found it reading the Miracle of Forgiveness (chapter 19 or somewhere near). This story is miraculous. It inspired me SO much. The two silver candlesticks. If I ever am tempted to become provoked in any way, I just think about the silver candlesticks. That bishop could have sent Valjean back to jail for the rest of his life, but he had a higher vision for Valjean's potential, and he didn't allow himself to become easily provoked. After Valjean had already taken much of the bishop's possessions and esconded into the night, he was caught. And the bishop found him with the police, but instead of the bishop becoming provoked and enraged at having been robbed, he brought his finest silver candlesticks as well to add to Valjean's spoils. He then said to Valjean:


"Valjean, my brother, you belong no longer to evil but to good..."


To me, this such a great example of not becoming provoked. It is almost like a "pre-forgiveness" where you forgive them before they even act in offense. And not only does it emancipate the potential in the offender, but it keeps your heart pure and full of love for all. There is no reason to be provoked. Everyone has there mountain to climb. And life is SO much better without anger in your heart. This is another one that allows you to stand in holy places. And you smile a whole lot more. Especially when (no matter who the person is) you tell yourself that the person that cut you off on the road is a pregnant lady rushing to the hospital. It makes you feel so much better about yourself! ha.

Charity Strife - "Seeketh Not her Own"

And charity suffereth long and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked. Thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Seeketh Not Her Own"

From the mission Journal:

Truly thinking of others before yourself. And not thinking of others' attributes that irritate you but thinking of what ways you can love others without looking, speaking or acting for your own benefit only. Truly putting God first, by putting others' good and happiness before yours. Here - (now in Chile) thinking about the people of Chile and how I am using my time to help them to feel loved by God, or am I thinking of myself and whether I feel good or not, and whether I got letters or had enough time to finish my personal things. Ot am I really working for the love of the people - because I have felt God's love for me and want them to also feel it and see miracles in their lives. Really, like the 3 soul-searching questions that Brother Allen asked at the fireside at the MTC. 1. If you could be any place in the world, right now, where would your heart want to be? 2. If you could do anything at all, right now, what would your heart want to do? 3. If you could be with any person in the world right now, who would your heart want to be with? The Lord just wants our hearts. And until the answers to those 3 questions are 1. Chile Santiago West, 2. Working, Loving, serving, teaching, WALKING and 3. With the people of Santiago and the Lord and your companion ---it will be harder to really have charity and be a truly successful missionary who is a representative of Jesus Christ. 

My current thoughts:

This one is an interesting one in this stage of life. During the mission you really could completely forget yourself and go to work. All you had to do was keep yourself alive and healthy and follow the rules and then the rest you could focus on helping and seeking not your own, but to serve everyone around you and live for others. This is a response I constantly receive from RMs about what is the hardest thing to adjust when getting home from the mission - that they actually have to think about themselves and their own life. It is true. I have thought about that a lot though. And I believe that even though you are focusing on your own grades, or your own job or career, these things all have end goals in mind. And at least for me, I am doing them so that I can serve others and eventually become a husband and father who can provide, preside and protect my family.

And in relationships, you have to seek not your own. I think that the closest I felt to any relationship where both sides were not seeking their own was McKell. She was seriously always thinking about the other. I know that it wasn't right with her, but she had that attribute cornered. And when relationships don't work. I think you really have to seek deep inside and think about the good of the other. Truly seek their happiness before yours. True love is deep and not just a crush. True love cares about the future and the long-term happiness of the other. And if that means not to be with you, then you rejoice in that even though it is painful. Because it just means that they will be happy, which if you love them, you desire.

I really like Helaman 8:5

And now my sons, behold I have somewhat more to desire of you, which desire is, that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven, yea, which is eternal, and which fadeth not away; yea, that ye may have that precious gift of eternal life, which we have reason to suppose hath been given to our fathers.

If we seek not our own, we do not lose anything in this life, but we lay up treasure in heaven. Which is eternal. Which does not fade away. Eternal life. Godlike life. We become more like God and more eternal when we seek not our own, but seek the highest good for others - motivated by the Love of God.

Charity Strife - "Is not puffed up"

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, envieth not and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things hopeth all things endureth all things. 

"Is Not Puffed Up"

MTC Journal Entry:

Not caring what anyone but the Lord thinks - like it says in the missionary study gospel libro: "to become humble one must do what the Savior did in boldly denouncing evil, bravely advancing righteous work, courageously meeting every problem, becoming the master of himself and the situations about him and being near oblivious of personal credit. Humility is not pretentious, presumptuous or proud. Not weak, vacillating or servile." (Spencer W. Kimball). Near oblivious to personal credit is what I love about this. I often struggle with this. I (my natural man - or flesh) tells me that I need to get approval from others who are around me, and I do it in the wrong way...the only approval I need is from God (Helaman 5:8), and I can't do things for the wrong reason an still have charity. Maybe "not puffed up" is having the right motives and doing what the right motives tell me to do, no matter what I look like. Not puffed up - not speaking of achievements, but helping others with (the gifts you have been given). Not leading by saying, but leading by doing. Loving because you love, not because you want to be loved, and admired. Not speaking of past attributes you may have had and been good at, but seeking for the aid of the Lor in changing and finding more God-like attributes. Not speaking of your respected worldly achievements, and talents, but thanking the Lord for what He has given you and asking Him how He can use you with them to further His work. 

My thoughts now:

I believe that this part of charity takes a lot of love - for yourself, based on God's love for you. That might seem a bit backward, but if you don't love yourself you will constantly think "what do others think of me?" And you will probably do anything that will help you to feel accepted by others (including anything to puff yourself up in the eyes of those from whom you seek approval). I believe this is a HUGE driving force of society. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted and validated. And people will do almost anything to gain that acceptance and validation - UNLESS - they truly love themselves first.

One cannot truly have love for themselves unless they know that God loves them first. So it all starts with seeking God's love. He has said: "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." If we draw near unto God we will feel His love for us. And seeking His acceptance and love is the most important thing we can do. It is the most powerful force. If we truly know that God loves us, we will not need acceptance from any other person. We will still appreciate when others express love and support, but we will know who we are and we wont need to be fed by the validation of others.

Diagram from p. 192 of "The Broken Heart" by Bruce C. Hafen

This shows a diagram from Elder Hafen's book "The Broken Heart" all about the atonement applied to every day life. Amazing book. This shows his illustration that as soon as our relationship with God (vertical line) is strengthened and we feel His love and love Him, all other relationships will be optimized.

There is no reason we can't have the same certainty of God's love and acceptance that Joseph Smith had of his vision. He said:

I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God know it, and I could not deny it... 

I think that one of the most important things in life is to seek God's love for ourselves. This is not selfish. When we absolutely know of God's love for us personally and individually, we will never be puffed up. We won't need validation from anyone else - ever. We will know it just as Joseph knew that he had seen God in vision. And when we feel God's love for us, just like Lehi and Enos (after they felt God's love), we will only feel to share it with others and help and love others. Not just brag and puff ourselves up to get them to love us.

This is very related to another one I will talk about tomorrow: "seeketh not her own."

My North Star - Grounded, Rooted, Established and Settled

I just listened to one of my "go-to" speeches by Elder Maxwell: "Grounded, Rooted, Established and Settled."

If I ever am down or need a pick-me-up, it is the ultimate perspective giver. It makes all trials and mortal hiccups seem so insignificant compared to the ultimate goal.

Here are some highlights from it.

This is probably one of my all-time favorite quotes, ever:

With the Holy Spirit as our guide, our conscience stays vibrant and alive. Things which we had never supposed come into view. Seeming routine turns out to be resplendent. Ordinary people seem quite the opposite. What we once thought to be the mere humdrum of life gives way to symphonic strains. Circumstances or a mere conversation which look quite pedestrian nevertheless cause a quiet moment of personal resolve, and a decision affecting all eternity is made. Sometimes you and I even sense it as it happens, but there are no bands playing, and there are no headlines. Therefore, a very significant part of getting settled in one's discipleship consists of coming to terms with the realities around us that seem so routine. Routine, like trials, can bring us closer to God or move us away from him. What seems commonplace seldom is.

The Precious perspective:

When we are grounded, rooted, established, and settled, we can have a precious perspective which puts other things in their proper place. This is no small blessing, for it lifts us above our immediate circumstances and concerns, giving us a larger view of things, as this secular episode illustrates:

In 1918, Ernest Rutherford, a physicist, missed a meeting of experts advising the British government on anti-submarine warfare. When criticized for missing the meeting, he replied, "I had been engaged in experiments which suggest that the atom can be artificially disintegrated. If it is true, it is of far greater importance than a war." [George F. Will, The Pursuit of Happiness, and Other Sobering Thoughts (New York: Harper and Row, 1978), p. 228]

And this is one of the best lines from C.S. Lewis on perspective:

I cherish these lines from C. S. Lewis given over 40 years ago to students and scholars at Oxford in the midst of another gathering storm. He said: 

If men had postponed the search for knowledge and beauty until they were secure, the search would never have begun. . . . Life has never been normal. . . . Humanity . . . wanted knowledge and beauty now, and would not wait for the suitable moment that never comes. . . . The insects have chosen a different line: they have sought first the material welfare and security of the hive, and presumably they have their reward. Men are different. They propound mathematical theorems in beleaguered cities, conduct metaphysical arguments in condemned cells, make jokes on scaffolds, discuss the last new poem while advancing to the walls of Quebec, and comb their hair at Thermophylae. This is not apanache; it is our nature. ["Learning in War-Time," The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses (New York: Macmillan, 1980), pp. 21–22] 

Be true, therefore, to the buoyancy in your nature which responds to your innate cravings for truth and beauty in spite of circumstance.

That is SO huge. There are so many things we can come up with as an excuse for why we don't live our best now and seek the highest good now.

And finally:

A hundred years from now, today's seeming deprivations and tribulations will not matter then unless we let them matter too much now. A hundred years from now, today's serious physical ailment will be but a fleeting memory. A thousand years from now, those who now worry and are anguished because they are unmarried will, if they are faithful, have smiles of satisfaction on their faces in the midst of a vast convocation of their posterity. The seeming deprivation which occurs in the life of a single woman who feels she has no prospects of marriage and motherhood properly endured is but a delayed blessing, the readying of a reservoir into which a generous God will pour all that he hath. Indeed, it will be the Malachi measure: "there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10).
In eternity, the insensitivities and injustices of today's grumpy boss will not matter when we then live in the presence of a God who is perfect in his justice and his mercy. A thousand years from now, today's soul pain inflicted by a betraying or deserting spouse will be gone. A thousand years from now, if one has been misrepresented or misunderstood, the resentment will be gone. So much depends, therefore, upon our maintaining gospel perspective in the midst of ordinariness and the pressures of temptation, tribulation, and deprivation.

This talk helps me to be grounded, rooted, established and settled. This is much needed when there are many things that seem that they will never really materialize. But all I can do is my best, and remember to keep this precious gospel perspective. "All things must fail" says Moroni. But a foundation in the bedrock truth of the gospel will remain unchanged, always steady - something I will always be able to rely on.

My north star.

Charity Strife - "Envieth Not"

For charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth, believeth all things, beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Envieth Not"

MTC Journal entry:

To Envieth Not - to not want to have a girlfriend (like my companion) - to not covet the knowledge and skills of another, but to be thankful for the talents and knowledge that the Lord has given me and trust that with that and faith - I can do it WITH HIM. To not despise others for being in any way better, older, stronger, faster, more knowledgeable in the scriptures, more anything, more obedient, better at speaking Spanish, etc. I guess it means to really trust the Lord that He will help me and that He does give me weaknesses so that we come to Him for help, and to trust that He knows and is aware of us - and that He has more confidence in us than we have in ourselves. That we, with Him, can go at the rate He has set. And also be thankful to Him for all that He has given us. When we envy are we thankful for our gifts or do we think of ourselves as not good enough with what we've been given of the Lord (everything we have)? When we envy, we show the Lord ungratefulness. Not good. 

I particularly love this one right now in my life because I sometimes see the lives of other people who may have chosen a different pathway or been blessed in different ways. And some part of that pathway seems better than the pathway I have chosen or been directed in. Or the blessing that they have been given seems so desirable - like the perfect solution to my problems. And as soon as I begin to think more about it, it plants the seed of ingratitude inside my heart. I have been SO blessed in my life, but when I even start to allow myself to feel envious of someone, it drains your heart of peace, love, and the Spirit. It is an emptier. Envy empties you. I believe that you have to make a choice not to envy because there will always be someone who has been blessed in different ways than you.

Person A who has been seeking employment for months looks at Person B who has never been without employment and is driving around in a nice car they bought with cash. And Person A has a wife and family to support while Person B is single. It would be easy for envy to pop into this situation. What Person A doesn't realize is that Person B could also envy Person A just as much as Person A envies them. Just as much as A says "I wish I had the job and money that B has - he must be so much more happy", B could say "I wish I had the wife and kids that A has - he must be so happy".

Or both A and B can be grateful for the hands that they have been dealt and move forward. If they do this, their lives will be so much more full (job or no job, single or married), they will be MUCH more capable of loving others and will have a more able heart. They will be filled with peace. Joseph Smith said:

"My heart is large enough for all men. I have no enmity against any man, I love you all." (Reference)

I want a heart large enough for all. And that just can't happen when you constantly compare yourself to someone else who might just be in a different stage of their mortal test than you. Envy creates enmity. Enmity damns (stops your progress). If we envy not and move forward with gratitude in our hearts, we will have peace and love for all. We will be able to stand in holy places. Literally. For with envy or unkind feelings in our heart, we cannot stand and will be invited to withdraw from that which we might have enjoyed.

We should abolish envy from our hearts. Not only will this allow us to love others more fully, and show gratitude - but it will allow us to love ourselves more fully.

Charity Strife - "Is Kind"

For charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth, believeth all things, beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Is Kind"

I love this one. First, here is what I wrote in my MTC Journal:

To be kind I think is to have a deep love for other people and respect for the children of Heavenly Father. With that love and respect you are long suffering and no matter what people choose to do with their agency - you choose to do what Jesus would do, like in 1 Nephi 19:9 "And the world, because of their iniquity shall judge Him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge Him, and He suffereth it, and the smite Him and he suffereth it, yea they spit upon Him and He suffereth it - because of His loving kindness  and His long-suffering towards the children of men." That is the pure love of Christ again. "And He suffereth it." I need to "suffer it" and no matter what anyone does or says of thinks - I need to remember that I should do as Christ did with his loving kindness and "suffereth it" and love all the children of men because they deserve love no matter what. I love what the Lord says: "with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee saith the Lord thy Redeemer." (3 Nephi 22:8). To truly have charity, I need to emulate the Savior. I want to have this everlasting kindness toward all who I come in contact with. if I do have this humble and bold kindness - I will show the Lord my love for Him be showing it to His children. All his children are His. Not just some - but ALL and even when the seem far from it - He still loves them and I should too because I want to emulate the Savior and by so doing be a true follower of Jesus Christ. It is very inconvenient, embarrassing, and at times not fun, but it is not for yourself or for the world like it says in Helaman 5:8 " that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven." That treasure is the everlasting kindness of the Savior when we are kind to His own.  

Wow. I was really good at run-on sentences and was not very good at spelling and grammar (I have actually corrected much of it when I typed it in here - but not everything) ha.

What I think now:

I think that kindness is the gift that never stops giving. It is a divine attribute. I love this list of attributes because it is basically like saying - here is how to become like a god. One cannot be godlike if they are not possessed with a deep kindness.

Kindness is never wasted. Kindness makes us happier. You will never regret being kind to someone, but you may regret being unkind, or just neglecting to be kind to someone. I believe that kindness is part of the embodiment of godliness. Here is why I think that. So many people pray for help or for something that they need. And God answers those prayers. He really does. The amazing thing is that most of the time, He answers prayers through His children. He works through people to answer the prayers that He has received. It is almost like He is the master networker. haha. But he only networks with those who are in tune with His Spirit and who are ready to listen to Him. God is kind through us - if we are listening to how we can be an answer to one of the prayers He has received from someone who really needs His help. I believe that is a part of kindness - being the answer to someone's prayer. Because God will most definitely use us to show His kindness to His children. We can become God's kindness - embodied. Kindness embodied. One step closer to becoming like He is. Becoming like a god. Godlike life. Life eternal.

This caused me to really think more deeply about eternal life. Feel free to read more here on my public blog.  I will actually include this concept in Live My Gospel. Super powerful.

Charity Strife - "Suffereth Long"

I am going to expound upon every phrase in the scripture I am memorizing. I actually did this once when I was in the MTC. So I will write down what I wrote then and embellish a bit.

For charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, and is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth, believeth all things, beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

"Suffereth Long"

From my MTC journal:

"What does it mean to suffer long? Not get angry at little things - to keep up when I can't visualize the fruits of the seeds I'm planting now. To love my companion no matter what he does - to lovingly lead - not by words, but by example, and but doing and by helping him with what he needs. Not complaining when the language doesn't come, or when I am tired, or if someone does something that I may not do, or when someone else uses their agency to chose against what my agency would choose. To choose the right way always. Always be obedient no matter how stupid you look. To make a difference, you have to be different. To pick up my wagon and head west, to push the train (Tall Tale), to plow forward, to pray when no answers come, to BE the Lord's wind, to love no matter what...come what may. To read when nothing comes. To pray when the Spirit isn't there, to work, work, work! And to let the Lord's will be done, by trusting that the answer is coming at exactly the right time which will be the very best in my life as well as the Lord's timing." 

Today, I would say that to suffer long doesn't necessarily mean that the Lord wants us to suffer and be miserable. It doesn't mean what is portrayed by the monks in Monte Python and the Holy Grail who beat themselves because they are trying to suffer. This is false doctrine. I believe that God only wants us to become. And some of that becoming will only come after some suffering. The point is not to suffer. The point is to become. God wants our heart. Like Elder Hafen said in his epic talk about the atonement:

"We can have eternal life if we really want it, but only if there is nothing else we want more."

I believe in becoming. And believing in our potential to become like our Savior. He definitely suffered long.

"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and the smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." (1 Nephi 19:9)

Gazing into Heaven

My favorite passage of scripture that is not versified, but is between the covers of the triple... is Oliver Cowdery's description of the experience he and Joseph Smith had with John the Baptist. I love it and it helps me so much to get my mind off the world and onto things eternal. You'll find it after Joseph Smith History and before the Articles of Faith. I guess it is just a footnote to verse 71 of JS-History.

I'll just highlight the parts that really hit me:

"But, dear brother, think, further think for a moment...I shall not attempt to paint to you the feelings of this heart, nor the majestic beauty and glory which surrounded us on this occasion; but you will believe me when I say, that earth, nor men, with the eloquence of time, cannot begin to clothe language in as interesting and sublime a manner as this holy personage. No; nor has this earth power to give the joy, to bestow the peace, or comprehend the wisdom which was contained in each sentence as they were delivered by the power of the Holy Spirit!
Man may deceive his fellow-men, deception may follow deception, and the children of the wicked one may have power to seduce the foolish and untaught to naught but fiction feeds the many, and the fruit of falsehood carries in its current the giddy to the grave; but one touch with the finger of His love, yes one ray of glory from the upper world, or one word from the mouth of the Savior, from the bosom of eterenity, strikes it all into insignificance, and blots it forever from the mind."

I love this. Anything in life can truly be struck into insignificance and blotted forever from the mind. Anything! But it must truly be a ray of glory from the upper world or a real word from the mouth of the Savior. When we come in contact with this ray of glory from the upper world, nothing else matters. When we hear the voice of God, nothing else really matters.

I'll end with the statement by Joseph Smith (who was qualified to say this):

"Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would know more than you would be reading all that was ever written on the subject." (HC 6:50-51)

Modern Day Korihors and Almas

Today I saw an interesting interview on YouTube that happen recently (like last night). It has been causing me much inner reflection and has started a fire inside my bones for my beliefs. I love it when this happens. I'll explain why below.

Brandon Flowers was being featured on a Norwegian talk show. He appeared thinking that he would just be representing his band and talking about his music (a sort of announcement before a release of a new album on iTunes). But the show then announced that they had invited another guest: Richard Dawkins. I will not even link to him because I do not support him in any way, not even with link juice!

He is one of the world's leading (if you can say that) atheists. He is like a mix of Sigmund Freud, Charles Darwin and Korihor. He is an outright, ruthless, godless man. I had to study his hypotheses and theories for a class at BYU once. The assignment was an in-depth critique of his writings and it nearly made me sick. He has a completely different world view. He is an evolutionary biologist who believes that science has the answer and explanation to everything. He says that there is no room for God and that people who believe in God are simply ignorant to greater knowledge. That they haven't studied the topic thoroughly enough. I have to control myself or I will really go off on this.

Before I changed my major to to psychology, my major was in the sciences. I absolutely love science. It fascinates me. I love the intricacy of micro-nature and the enormity of macro-nature. If I had three lives, I would love to become a well-known scientist who DOES believe in God. That is one of my dreams along with going to the olympics and being a librarian. When I was studying the "hard-sciences" I often wondered why there were so many hard-science empiricists who forgot to believe in God or who had not included Him in their equations. So I started to make a list of those who had been hard-scientists with a firm belief in God (or in some sort of greater providential force). Here are just a few:

• John A. Widtsoe - Graduated from Harvard in the sciences with the highest honors and went on to become an apostle. Wrote an amazing book on his religious devotion even as a scientist called Evidences and Reconciliations.  
• James E. Talmage - Studied and received degrees and advanced degrees in the sciences at Johns Hopkins and became an apostle. Um, he also wrote Jesus the Christ. 
• Henry Eyring - An remarkable chemist whose work on transition state theory in chemical reactions (activation energy - which I think is fascinating) got him the National Medal of Science in 1966, the Wolf Prize in Chemistry and ten other prestigious prizes or medals. Other scientists did further work based on his research who went on to receive the Nobel Prize (there is a controversy around why he was not given the award). He is the father of Henry Bennion Eyring (member of the first presidency today). In addition to the hundreds of scientific publications he authored, he wrote some texts about his faith as a scientist. 
• Richard G. Scott - Nuclear physicist who was given the special assignment to the team of scientists who created the first nuclear powered submarine in history - the US Nautilus. Has served his whole life in the Church and is now one of the 12 apostles.
• Russell M. Nelson - Another of the 12 apostles of the Church who is a world-renown cardiovascular surgeon, whose work on the artificial heart is very notable. 

There are many, many more disciple-scholars (Neal A. Maxwell's term) who are bilingual in the things of science and the Spirit - or in Dallin H. Oaks' words "reason and revelation". 

Though I always hesitate to become a Mormon apologist, there is a part of me that wants to go up against people like Dawkins with intellectual arguments for the truth that include science. Though this may be more like when my companions would try to argue with Evangelicals and Jehovah's Witnesses in Spanish, using the Bible. No one got anything out of it other than frustration. haha. 

It is good for us to have a bit of opposition to our beliefs. It just makes us stronger. I'm writing a book right now for returned missionaries. Here is a teaser from the second chapter: When our beliefs are questioned, they either fail or they are strengthened. And more often they are strengthened because we recheck what we believe and we check it with God (or at least we should). Then we come back having our knowledge of the truth that we have strengthened. That is why returned missionaries often have such strong conviction of the truth. They are constantly opposed. Hugh Nibley puts it this way:

"Long experience has shown that the Latter-day Saints only become aware of the nature and genius of their modern scriptures when relentless and obstreperous criticism from the outside, forces them to take a closer look at what they have, with the usual result of putting those scriptures in a much stronger position than they were before."
 (Hugh Nibley. An Approach to the Book of Abraham, p. 40).

Brandon Flowers, and every other common and famous Mormon out there will likely be put on the spot sometime. It probably won't be up against someone like Richard Dawkins, but you will have a Korihor to face. And you will have to be ready. Will you be ready? I hope so. Let's remember the faith of scientists, and "be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you." (1 Peter 3:15)

I gave Brandon a standing ovation as I watched him on my phone while eating lunch. Way to be the Alma, and the rockstar, literally. I'll go download your songs now on iTunes.

Power in the Priesthood

I listened to Elder Bednar's talk from Priesthood this morning called The Powers of Heaven. He spoke of the difference between the power and the authority of the Priesthood. It made me think of my Dad. Though he is not perfect (no one is), he has always had such a deep reverence for the Priesthood.

One of my favorite memories of him is when I went on a church history tour with him right after I came home from the mission. One of the stops was the Susquehanna River. Near here, both the Aaronic and the Melchizedek Priesthoods were restored. I will never forget the moment where my dad stood with his feet barely touching the water on the banks as the tour watched and listened to him expound about the priesthood. He had memorized his Priesthood line of authority and he named every man in the ordination line from his father back to Jesus Christ Himself. I actually took a picture of him when he was doing this:

I don't have it memorized myself, but will post it in here later when I get a minute to dig it out of one of my journals. 

No matter how short my line is (I think there are only 12 or 13 sets of "laying on of hands" between me and Jesus Christ Himself ---- me....my dad....my grandpa....George Q. Cannon....Joseph Smith....Peter, James and John....Jesus Christ), if the power is not present, the priesthood is invalid. 

How to qualify for the Power of the Priesthood:

• Fear God - AKA have deep respect and reverence for sacred things because sacred things come from Him. 
• Sacrifice (brings for the power and blessings of heaven - fasting is the easiest example, it works every time)
• Put God first 
• Make obedience our quest, not our burden ("the moment obedience ceases to be a burden and becomes our quest, we are endowed with power" - ETB)
• Live worthy of the Spirit - make it a priority in your life
• Seek revelation daily (Helaman 11:23)
• Attend the temple frequently and seek further light and knowledge (every time we can be endowed with power from on high).
• Serve and love others - especially home teaching.  
• Strive to magnify whatever calling you are in (D&C 84:33)
• Pray with all the energy of heart (Moroni 7:48)
• Study the Gospel seriously ("There is a power that will begin to flow into your lives, the moment you begin a serious study of the book." - ETB)

I'm sure the list could go on and I probably skipped some things, but these are the first ones that came to my mind. I also believe these are universal principles - not just for power in the priesthood. And I believe that "power in the priesthood" is upon all who live in this way. Not just priesthood holders. Go to the temple.

As I have tried to be more consistent in the above, I have felt tangible power. Even in my room at night and all day as I go throughout the day. It is literal. It is real. It is true and I love it. God's power is real. Angels attend those who truly apply these principles.

The scroll marked II

I woke up this morning with the feeling that I really needed to read a few scrolls from The Greatest Salesman in the World. Such an inspirational book. Has nothing to do with sales and more to do with principles to live by to become your highest self. And once you have become your best, everyone will be attracted to the person you have become naturally.

Everyone of the ancient scrolls have a powerful principle to live by. The scroll marked II says

"I will greet this day with love in my heart"

It then goes on to expound upon the power of having love in your heart for every person and every thing surrounding you. It also talks about the power of having love for yourself.

Now that I finished "The Living Christ" I didn't want to lose momentum... So I prayed what would be the next scripture to commit to my memory. I was led to Moroni 7:45-48.

All about love. The truest and deepest love. The love of Christ. This scripture, like the other scriptures I have memorized with my dear friend Sarah (D&C 76:5-10, TLC) have powerful principles that are (in my opinion) keys to happiness in this life and to eternal life in the world beyond.